KIRUV

Well this has been a rather miserable day. May I begin by saying, that I do not understand why such random occurrences like this so often tend to follow me around. I truly must be some sort of Velcro that attracts crazy bull shit. Get this, one of the regulars at the Libiliem coffee shop this afternoon just fucking died. Literally, he looked at me, and then fell over. All right, there’s more to it than that, but whatever. 

That’s beside the point. After the man died, the paramedics were the first to arrive, they checked his pulse, unbuttoned his shirt, stuck some things to his body. One stepped over to where they had laid out their equipment, and returned quickly with a defibrillator. They used it once, then again. I turned my head before the third time, because foam spurted from the dead man’s mouth. It was all rather unnecessary, really. A rat could have told you he was dead. The cops followed. There were several of them, and some began questioning the customers of the café. 

Jesus, you’d think they would get bored of listening to the same story over and over again. I told them what I knew, “he looked at me, then I saw him fall over and die”, and that was it. I had to say that seven times before they would let me go. When it all ended I decided to walk to the pier. 

Thankfully it was actually nice out for a change, no clouds, not really windy. I took a smoke break on the way there. Once there I sat on some bench and pulled a joint from my cigarette case. When I finished smoking, I laid down on the bench, and just rested there for a second, gazing up into the sky. 

Truth be told, I was really not paying much attention to what was going on around me. In any case, I closed my eyes for a brief moment. Contemplating a whether I should take a nap. Then something, or someone more rather, was slapping what seemed to be their smelly fingers across my forehead.

“Ehh ehh! Puta! You shit! wake up!” said the man. 

First of all, to anyone who has have ever woken someone up in this manner, I wish on them a tragic and painful death. 

“Hey! Stop it! What the hell dude! What the fuck!? What do you want?”

“You fucking whore, you. We see you, eh! You look into eyes of Mauricio Carlo. He is dead now.” Mother fucking crazy this guy.

“I’m sorry, what? Is this supposed to be a joke?”

I picked up my things and turned to leave. I took a few steps, then heard the safety switch of his gun. I slowly turned to look back at the half naked tattooed man, he was pointing the gun in the air. Then brought it down and pointed it at me. I adjusted my skirt and walked right back over with my hands in the air.

“Ok, I’ll do what you want. If you want sex. You don’t have to rape me. You can have it” 

“Sex?, Ey ya, puta de madre. Idiota. You killed him. I saw you.” He said. 

“Are you fucking serious. You can’t kill a person just by looking at them! He probably died of a heart attack or something”. I shrugged my shoulders then adjusted my skirt once again. 

I was scared, yea, but nothing I couldn’t handle. He pointed the gun at me gave me directions towards his car, and asked for me to walk first. So, I did. He eventually led me over to a parked silver ford fusion, opened up the trunk, and beckoned for me to get in.

I looked at him for a second. 

“Now you bitch!” he said, then rattled his gun in my face. I rolled my eyes and obliged. 

He closed the trunk of the car. As I was left there in the darkness I thought of a number of ways I could escape. Nothing really seemed to come to mind. Time to improvise bitch. I reached into my purse for my cell phone. Fuck, where is it. I found it, flipped it open in relief. Then realized it was dead. Mother fucker. 

I reached into my bag and pulled out the small concealed pocket knife I kept in there. Then propped myself against the back seat of the car. I began to feel my way around the seat for seat latch to be able to push it down. I had to be quiet. I didn’t want this fucker to hear me. This was my only real chance sneak up on him. 

Yes! Fuck! 

I found the latch. Jabbed my knife in and pulled up gently, and then extremely slowly pushed the seat slightly forward, just enough to be able to peak my eyes through the crack it created. I waited there for quite some time. We were approaching what seemed to have been a small town, so we must have been perhaps 15-20 miles outside of the city already.

The car slowed, it seemed we had pulled into a Wendy’s or something. This bitch, ordering a god damn burger. As the car slowed to a stop, I waited patiently till he was at the order intercom before I made my move. 

“Hi there, welcome to Wendy’s, what can I get for you?” said the person taking the order. 

As I heard him begin to make his order, I knew he was most likely distracted and not looking at the mirror to the back seat. So, I pushed the seat down slowly, and made my way to the other side of the car, crawling out of the trunk. I’m so lucky I’m small and skinny, damn. 

Once out, I pushed the seat back up, making sure not to go all the way, afraid of making a sound. I quickly moved to the left side, making sure to conceal my body behind his seat. 

He was waiting behind another car now for his order. I looked around and saw the gun in the cup holder. All I had to do was grab it. That’s it. 

We finally made it to the window, the past ten minutes had felt like 4 hours. The car accelerated and then braked. I heard the window slide open. 

“Hi sir, your total comes to 15.78$. Will you be paying by cash or card?”. Said the cashier. 

“Cash.” The man said. 

He passed the woman a twenty-dollar bill, in exchange for the bag with his burger and fries. In that moment I turned the corner behind his seat and slowly reached and grabbed hold of the handle of the gun. I was careful to not make a noise. Pulled it back and then slowly clipped the safety and loaded it, then turned around and pointed the gun at his neck. 

“Forget about the fucking change. Drive.” I commanded. He obeyed. 

He was mortified. His eyes fluttered from surprised, to angry and then to scared in a second as he realized what was going on. 

“Funny how fast shit changes, no?” I asked. I was internally smiling. This fucker gets a burger. 

 We drove by an empty parking lot. It was dark out now. 

“Over there.” I said. 

He listened. He knew what was coming. I wasn’t going to kill him. Obviously.  

The car stopped. I held the gun firmly against his neck, then reached into my purse for a cigarette, and placed it between my lips. 

“You got a lighter?” 

He cleared his throat. Nodded and then reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a yellow one. 

“Light it.” I said, and pushed my chin forward. He did, his hands were shaking. My god look at this pussy.

 He dropped the lighter after lighting the cigarette, and moved for it. 

“ah ah ah. Leave it.” 

He placed his hand back on his lap, and looked up at me through the rearview mirror. His eyes were an ocean blue, he was quite muscular actually, with typical basic tattoos along the side of his arm and neck. Another small one written in cursive Spanish across his bare chest. I couldn’t see what it said. 

I took a long drag of the cigarette. Let it out into the car, fogging it up with smoke. 

I opened the car door to my left, still pointing the gun to the man’s head and slowly exited the vehicle. 

“Get out.” I said. “On your knees.” 

I opened his door, and beckoned for him to move away from the car, into the middle of the empty parking lot. He silently obliged and did exactly as he was told. 

I stared at him eyes locked, I wonder if he thinks I’m cute?.

“Alright shit fuck. Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go back to the cartel and tell them that Yea. Kiruv Satori assassinated Mauricio Carlo at the Libiliem café today. I put cyanide in that human trafficking mother fuckers coffee.” 

“I knew it. You bitch. I fucking saw you, puta!” He screamed. 

I found his frustration quite amusing. 

“Yea. You tell your drug lords, what you saw, and tell them I’m coming.” 

I pointed the gun at his left thigh and pulled the trigger without hesitation. The bullet grazed him. He reached down, and cried out in pain and I watched as his blood slowly trickled down towards his knee and further more onto the pavement. 

I rolled my eyes. “You’ll be fine, fuck. Relax.” 

I then tossed the gun into the passenger seat through the window. Opened the driver’s door, and got in and began adjusting the seat. I stretched behind me and snatched the bag of Wendy’s, and threw it out the window in his direction. 

“Here you go, in case you get hungry.” I giggled. 

I started the engine, adjusted the mirror, and held my foot on the accelerator. Yes bitch, new car.